Writing Sexy Love Letters is a Very Special Art

Writing Sexy Love Letters

A gift you’ve made yourself always says more than something you’ve bought at the store. And the best gift you can give someone is to tell them how much you love and desire them. A genuinely sexy love letter is one of the best ways to do this.

This is harder to do than many people realize. You have to start by caring about the person you’re writing to. A genuinely sexy love letter isn’t a blow-by-blow; it is instead a seduction in words, across a distance (even if that distance is no more than a room’s breadth.) It is not online sex, either, or phone sex.

The Basics: Getting It Down

The best tool you have in writing a sexy love letter is your words. Pay attention to what you’re saying. Make sure you catch the basics: good spelling, decent grammar, and lots of paragraph breaks to make it easy to read. This doesn’t mean break at every sentence, just make sure you don’t have a chunk so big it’s hard to move from line to line without losing your train.

Practice a little with this before you start writing the real letter. Write a letter to her/him that you’ll never send. Go wild with it. Do not rewrite until you’re finished the first time around; your first thought is usually the best one. A trick I use: write it with a pencil, and set yourself a time; do not stop writing until that time is up, not even one moment. Your first two or three won’t be very good, so don’t worry about that. Just keep practicing, and you’ll get comfortable with it before you know it.

Seduce Your Lover With Words

Once you’re comfortable with just writing it down, you can start paying attention to the words themselves. This is where people start getting nervous. What do you call it? Is it a manhood, a penis, or a c***? That depends on your personality. Call it what you’d normally call it. Anything else will ring less than true.

The exception to this is if you want to experiment with language a little harsher than you normally use. For girls, this is often a very good choice; most men really like dirty talk.

But it’s not just words for body parts you need to pay attention to; it’s the way the words sound. Read your letter out loud to yourself. How do the words blend? Does it sound quiet, or are there harsh dissonances between different words? Susurration and cacophony sound very different. Each way is fine for different situations. Soft sounding words belong in gentle or romantic seductions. More adventurous or semiviolent letters need the harsher-sounding words.

If you’re in doubt, however, call the object in question whatever you would normally call it when you’re with your lover. Any other name will sound coy or fake.

Tell A Story About You and Your Lover

A lot of people at this point can run with it; most can’t. Make it about you and your lover if you’re one of the latter group. Tell a story about something you’ve done, or something you’d like to do. Or just something you fantasize about.

Have you always wondered about sex in public? Tell a fantasy in your sexy letter about the two of you making it on a bus, or on a public beach. Don’t be shy. Start with a situation you can see the two of you being in – lost, for instance, in the forest. Think about what, realistically, you and your partner could do that would bring about this situation. And then create that situation with your words.

Don’t Forget Atmosphere

Atmosphere is as important when writing a love letter as it is when you are taking your lover on a date. The key to atmosphere is description. When writing a description of what is happening, close your eyes and imagine it. When your own thoughts turn you on, you need to describe the things you’re imagining seeing, hearing, tasting. At this point, your word choice is not important; the situation you’re describing will carry its own emotion.

But you do need to set the scene. Are you imagining your lover in a darkened room with the flicker of firelight reflecting off your damp bodies? Or is it a sunlit beach, where the two of you can see everything?

Don’t include the negative things in your scene. For instance, love scenes on the beach must, in reality, include the discomforts of sand in bad places. Or sunburns in other bad places. Don’t worry about these things. You are writing a fantasy, not a story, and these things are more likely to distract from the story you’re writing, not add to it.

Make It Your Fantasy, Not His (Or Hers)

At least in the beginning of writing sexy love letters, you need to share your fantasies, not worry about those of your lover. Your fantasy will be easier to tell. You know what you like, and what you want your lover to do to you. His or her fantasy, on the other hand, may be a mystery to you. You may think you know they want to be tied up, for instance, but do you use rope or silk cord? There is a very large fantasy difference.

Instead of creating a fantasy for him or her, write your love letter first, then encourage your lover to write back to you. This can be great for both of you. First, you can both be titillated by the words of the other. Second, and more importantly, you discover by reading or hearing exactly what your lover fantasizes about, and you may be able to make that fantasy come true.

Don’t hold back. Describe exactly what you want. If you’re new to one another, you might want to keep the darkest things to yourself; as you grow more used to one another, and as your seductive writing skills develop, you can get a little edgier. Write the things you really want, or that you really wonder about; otherwise you may never find out whether your lover is willing, and you might miss out on a remarkable experience.

This doesn’t mean you should make the fantasy true. Fantasies including violence should never be acted upon unless the two of you have discussed it and understand things like stopping points. When there is the realistic possibility of serious damage to one of you (breast bondage, for instance), you should also discuss it with someone experienced before even attempting it.

The most important part of writing sexy love letters is to enjoy them. Words can be a remarkable enhancement to an already active love life, or they may be a wonderful way to ease into a new relationship; love letters like this are also one of the best ways to keep the spark in a long-distance relationship lit. Relish them as you write them and as you read them.